I don't have a clue who reads this. I don't know you or what your situation is in. But please, if you're reading this, love your mother. And if you love her, take care of her.
I'm a high school student. My name is Isaac. I'm a few months away from being a college student. I know that doesn't define who I am, but it tells you about my situation. But if I look at my life, I can sort of see myself as a mother's boy. I've never been grounded. I've never been sent to my room. There were plenty of times when I was upset as a child, but now that I'm older and wiser I hardly ever get upset and when I do I'm able to laugh about it. With my mother.
When we first came to America, we slept on the floor of a house the family didn't really own. And it was a large family. There were 6 of us (there used to be 8 of us) and there were 3 bedrooms between us all. We slept on sheets.
When we were doing a bit better and moved into a larger house by some miracle, my mother had a divorce and she and my older sister, H, and youngest sister, Marley, moved into an apartment. The last day I saw my father was the first I'd seen of my step-father. He was a weird man at first. I remember my mum asked me to spend time with him and I remember going to the store with the guy and when I asked him if he wanted the change back from what I bought he got upset and I thought that was weird. The apartment had 2 bedrooms and I had neither one. I slept in the living room for about 3 hours.
We moved into a house this time that we rented. Terrible living conditions. I had the laundry room. The step-father made promises that he would fix up the place when we first moved in but they remained unfulfilled for the next 5 years. We had major problems, the guy and I. I didn't know him. I had no clue who he was or why he decided to love my mum one day. I know why she 'loved' him. We were in a terrible situation and she needed to supplement the income with another person working in the household. I figured that out when I was 12. But I never knew how she was able to put up with him. He is a mean man. I remember the first two weeks after I had lived with him, he yelled at me for not cleaning the bathroom correctly and I cried for hours. He would go out and get drunk and wouldn't call and spend the entire night and morning out doing something she had no clue he was doing. My mother would stay up and worry herself for hours. I felt so bad. He was arrested several times and there were times and I remember not seeing the guy for months.
But he would always come back and he'd be more grumpy and meaner than anything I'd ever seen. He's meaner than anyone I've ever met and he brings evil into the house. He's been yelling at me for years. But I haven't changed. I don't get angry and lash out at him. I don't yell and go to my room and slam the door like I've heard some children do. I've always absorbed it like a sponge. I tried once. He told me to bottle it up inside. Crazy, isn't it? My mother and that man are always arguing now. Today I've reached the days where I'm going to make that transition where I become the person I'm going to be for the rest of my life, like everyone says, and I know how it feels and seen how bad men treat their wifes. How these men disappoint their mothers. How they don't change. How much pain and sorrow they cause. My mother is 50 years old. He's 42. My mother has another 17 years before she can retire. And she has high blood pressure. She doesn't go to church anymore. She hasn't found a good one with people that accept her the way she is (a foreigner), sort of like me. Her friends have stopped coming over because they're afraid of her husband. She has to work all day and when she comes home she has to deal with her oppressive husband. Her children try to make her happy, but with all of her problems, it's difficult to stay happy for like.
He doesn't work anymore. He's trying to go to school but he can't pass the math part of the GED. She has no use for him anymore and on Friday she was crying because he doesn't care how hard she works or that he says terrible things and makes her feel horrible. She cleans people's houses on weekends, which she's doing right now, to pay for the expenses that she takes up. She doesn't want my younger sister or me doing it because she doesn't want us to grow up knowing how it feels to clean houses.
I used to go and do it with them, but the guy would yell at me for doing something too slowly. And he himself would do a terrible job so they ask my mum to do it without him. So he doesn't help. He cooks and sometimes he keeps the house clean, but not always. I do my fair share. I clean what I use and I try to make everyone happy. I've tried in the past for years to please that man in there, but I've rarely ever seen him happy, can remember only a few instances where he's told me I've done a good job, and can't ever remember hearing a sympathetic word out of him.
I don't know who he is or the details about his childhood problems that he's had, but I want him gone. Since I'm going off to college, it would be easier for me to leave, but how can I leave my mother in this situation? So I'm prepared to live here at home for the next two years until that man leaves. My sister H has a husband and kid and her husband is leaving the army after being sent to Iraq and she's coming over here to help me drown him out. My mother will be a lot happier than she is with him.
When Jesus ministered for 3 years, the Sadducees and the Pharisees of the church plotted to kill him, which he had been telling his disciples would happen for years. It was even prophecized about in the book of Isaiah. When they came to crucify Him, they put Him on trial and after they falsely found Him guilty (because He claimed to be the son of God, which He was), they sentenced Him to the crucifixion He had anticipated His entire life and His mother had to watch Him die. As much as I'm suffering under this guy, no one in this house suffers more than the woman that married him. But there will be happy days without him. After three days, Mary was able to see her Son again, as He returned from heaven to show her that He was fine. When Jesus left for heaven again some time later, He asked His beloved disciple, John, to take care of His mother as He went to be with the Father.
In situations like this, I just need to remember that my heavenly Father is more important to me than any father I'd have here in the world. I need to remember that I have had a good relationship with Him and that He has been my Father all of these years, even with all of these men that marry my mother. And that He takes care of my mother for me. Like when she went to New York last month and I prayed that she would be alright. And she didn't have any problems and was able to stay warm.
So if you love your mother, take care of her. Pray for her if it's necessary and the Father will take care of her better than any man. Yes, it is written, honour thy father and thy mother. But if you love the one who used to take care of you, please, take care of them.
hi there, juss here to say hi and how are you? and to wish you a happy valentine's day.
"Love is not blind.
It sees more, not less,
but because it sees more it is willing to see less."
hmmmm my parents are divorce, but.... my mom re married. she's more happy now. i use to not like my step dad and wished it was my real dad, but now i know that he's he best one for my mom. i love all three of them...
well take care and get back to my page when you can.
Hey Isaac,
What a touching blog. You know , I love how you are so strong in your walk that you have learned the art of temperance. You will be blessed and continue to be blessed.
Have a great Valentines Day :)
TBB
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 02.15.04 (3:22 pm)
hey, just want to wish to the best. i'm very sorry. hope the Lord blesses you and your mom (as well as your siblings)!
