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I No Longer Worry.

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I No Longer Worry.

01.23.04 (10:33 pm) [edit]

The things of this world now to me, Isaac, are no longer worries.

I no longer worry if I'll drive a big fancy car and live in some huge mansion in some state. I no longer worry if I'll be able to get to medical school and become a doctor and live out my dreams. I no longer worry about people that were better than me in biology class or are making better grades in school than I am. I no longer worry over my family - if someone I love were to die and leave me here stuck in their memory. I no longer worry about where my next meal is coming from. I no longer worry if I'll stay connected to the internet or not.
I no longer worry about grades. I no longer worry about how to get back to my home, England. I no longer worry about where I'm getting money. I no longer worry about finding this certain 'someone' that everyone tells me is important. I no longer dream of having an Xbox. Or I no longer worry about dying, or an end to live in this world. I no longer worry about pleasing everyone. I no longer worry about wasting my life. I no longer worry about attaining success. For with Him I am already made successful. And with Him, the creator of life, it all has meaning.

I worry about pleasing Him that is the most high above everyone else. He will reward me beyond imagination with what no man has seen, more valuable than anything man could ever obtain for themselves. With Him every thing is possible. He can give me fortune and riches. And He can take it away just as easily. But He has taught me that those things aren't important. Or aren't pertinent or considerable compared to what awaits in the next embodiment. Through Him I am made whole. I am complete. All family that has died in His name and has followed in His ways are with Him now and I will meet them again. If I were to die of hunger, I'd die happily, still. My life is in His hands.

This is what it means to surrender to God. All that I do is in accordance with the will of the most high God. Sometimes I might do something stupid or out of a bad habit and I might fall into sin and a bad way again. I might say something terrible or do something out of place. But I remember it and ask for forgiveness. Or I might have a time when I'm thinking something terrible. I might for a moment think something strange or nasty. But I snap out of it and change the thoughts to something cleaner. I constantly battle sin. And He has made me good at it.

I have never in my life been more successful than I am now. Before, I would struggle day and night to get anywhere. I'd cave into the thought of spending another late night doing something I despise. Now that I know that Jesus Christ is truly the son of God, I ask Him for strength and I go by His strength and I don't need to worry about getting tired or falling asleep. Or apathy - not caring. My grade point average is higher. I'm learning at a rate that I've never achieved. And my "class rank" in the school district has risen. I'm going to pray that it is His will that I should start this business successfully. I read that His words have over 800 scriptures on managing money! Now that I concentrate on Him and not on the things of this world, and have been given by Him the knowledge to understand all things, the things of this world are so much simpler than they were before. I stand in awe and look back.

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