After studying hours of scripture, I realize that God talks to me personally, but that in the major scheme of things, I'm a small integrand of a larger derivative. I'm a small, but important part. God tells you that you're important to Him. If we weren't, He wouldn't have died for us. He loves us a lot, even though we're so small.
But if it's okay, I'd like to share something small... I once lusted in my heart for something, even though Christ was telling me that "He follows Him must be crucified of all that he has, because Christ will give him things greater than what he has out of faith." I told myself that I lusted for them out of love, but I realize now... it wasn't love. Well, it was, but there was lust in it, when there shouldn't have been. So I "had" what I lusted after for years. And then it was time that having that was going to become physical and worldly rather than spiritual and out of faith. And the very morning when that was supposed to happen, God allowed something to happen that was going to happen to hinder that from happening. But if He hadn't allowed it to happen, I wouldn't have seen the glory that I'm still amazed by now. I would have forgotten the Lord in my richness of having what my heart lusted after. But what I didn't realize all along was that God already owned and was raising that which I lusted after having for myself in my heart. And that since I was God's, He would have given them to me. And I was blinded by my heart's own lusts. When I was disadvantaged by the evil that happened to me, I was knocked to my feet. But Christ, after months of teaching me, and showing me great things, opened my eyes, and lifted me up. I once lusted in my heart. Now I love with it rather than lust. Far from having what I once lusted after, I understand now why I couldn't have it. Though God blessed Job's end over his beginning, I'm not even certain that the Lord will give me directly what I used to lust after having. But if He decides that I'm not worthy of having them. Then it would be okay. Because greater are the things to come than the things that appear to be. Pursuing what I used to want would be a vanity. And my Father already has them. And I have Christ. And Christ belongs to the Father. So it'd be a vanity to lust. I already have.
Thanks for reading................
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