Verse 5 then is what we are attempting to achieve in purity and is very important – “Mortify your members which are upon the earth.” So, set your affections on things above, knowing that Christ's death was your death and His life is now, presently, your life. That satisfies number 1. Then, number 2 is that you mortify or make dead – to kill, destroy the strength of, to slay, to put to death – your members, the deeds of your body, the earthly nature. It lists a few.
Fornication - it's porneia in the Greek. It means illicit sexual intercourse.
Uncleanness – could be either physical or the moral sense of impurity of lustful living or impure motives.
Inordinate affection – is defined as depraved or vile passions, passionate deeds. This definitely is what sexual sin is.
Evil Concupiscence – desire, craving, longing, desire for what is forbidden, lust - this definitely is what pornography leads to.
Covetousness - Peoneksia in the Greek, meaning avarice, a greedy desire to have more - the eyes of a man are never satisfied. Even though a man has seen a woman's behind a thousand times, until the day he's 100 years old, he'll burn insanely with desire when seeing that same place on a woman's anatomy! The sins involving pornography are the same way. I've heard covetousness described as the kindling that lights the fire. Before you steal, you covet. Before you commit adultery, you covet. Before you murder, you covet. Another part of scripture says that covetousness is idolatry. Idolatry is Eidololatria in the Greek, which means the worship of false gods, literally. When you look at pornography, the images that you see, you lust after. This is covetousness! You desire and crave to have more, and in so doing, you make that image into a false god that takes you away from true desire for the real Jesus and the one true God. It captures your attention, and that attention is taken away from God and directed to self - the craving after that image. Verse 6, The same wrath that came upon Israel every time that they disobeyed God's command and went after Molech and Ashtoreth and Nisroch, and built Asherah poles and sacrifices in the high places to false gods, is the same thing you're doing when you look at pornography, when you lust after women, when you in private practice sexual sins that you know well that God sees.
Turn from your sin! Follow after God's command to trust in God, to act as if you have a Savior! John 14:21 says, “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.” When I turned from sexual immorality and repented, I said over and over again to this verse, “I will not sin against my Savior! I will not sin against my Savior!” I was sold out for Christ that I would serve Him, falling on my face, asking for help from God. God's help came. Remorse over your sin is not enough. God wants godly sorrow. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death."
You've sinned against God, now's the time to awake out of a lifestyle of sin, the day is arriving. Come out of doing works of darkness and turn on the light - Set your affections on Christ, not on sexual passions or lust. Seek those things which are above, desire to be with Him in glory, before the throne, where He is seated. When you have this right desire, the right desire to be like and with Christ (Colossians 3:2), then comes the power to mortify the deeds of your body (Colossians 3:5). Because of number 1, God will have given you strength for number 2.
My problems were with masturbation to pornography, lust of the eyes with women, and sexual desires and thoughts. None of them honored God, but I struggled with them. I could go on and on with how many times I had sincerely fell on my knees before God pleading a remorse and sorrow over these crimes, confessing them, promising and alleging never to do them again, and sadly I would fall into them over and over again. I’d study sexual immorality out in the Bible, and even write tutorials on how to defeat temptation (which you can still read on my blog today), to no avail. I had gone out for a swim. I was in the pool. I didn’t know how to swim. I desperately needed rescuing – my Lord was waiting for me to stop kicking and struggling, trying to do it on my own effort. After exhausting myself of my own ways of doing things, there was no one to turn to for help but the Lord. There was no way of doing it but His way. I fell on my face before the Lord crying out for help. He heard my cries that day, after much tears and anguish – I woke up one morning, and it was gone – God had given me victory that has lasted even to today. Verses like Psalm 119:9, John 14:21 and Colossians 3:1-4, I devoured, and internalized in a way I hadn’t before. I learned that Christ not only gives the power to overcome sin by walking in the Spirit, but a renewed mind and heart – taking away the pleasure of sin. I began to hate the sin that I once loved, and I truly experienced the freedom Christ bought for me at Calvary, taking off the yoke of sexual immorality and putting on the one of love and joy and peace in the Holy Spirit.
God blessed my fellowship and communion with God and the times alone with the Father. I’d fill my body with light rather than darkness. I stopped watching TV, to cut off the darkness I was feeding my flesh. My love for and fear of the Lord replaces my need for entertainment with real joy. Leonard Ravenhill once said, “You wont go to heaven because you get rid of the TV, you wont go to hell because you have one, it’s a case of your intimacy with God. If I had one ambition it’s to be closer to God every day of my life!” Jesus didn’t come just to change our behavior, He died for our sins. He didn’t come just to make bad men good, but dead men live. We’re alive unto God by His very resurrected-life. And by the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, He sets men free from slavery to their own sinful desires. Spend time with God to the point where your heart takes no pleasure in the very idea of entertaining a lustful thought.
Call to Wisdom
I obtained this from a Boundless Webzine article by Michael Lawrence (“Exploit Your Pastor,” Jan. 11, 2008).
To be wise, biblically, is not the same as being smart or having a head full of trivia and knowledge. Rather, wisdom is simply thinking about life the way the Creator of life thinks about life. As one author puts it, "Wisdom is the moral skill to understand and apply the commandments of God to situations and people. It is the ability to connect the principle to the application" (James C. Petty in Step By Step, p. 144).”
This describes wisdom. The bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge (Prov. 1:7, 9:10, Psalms 111:10). Not only does wisdom begin with the fear of the Lord, but the continuation of wisdom has to do with the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is to hate evil (Prov. 8:13). The heart is deceitfully wicked and unknowable. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds." Many times the world may say, “Just look into your heart, and there you will find the answer.” The heart can tell us a lot of things, but if your heart is telling you to lust after women or has lustful sexual thoughts about women every five minutes, it’s time to start finding some of the answers elsewhere. We know that this is apart of the world’s way of thinking and God’s way must prevail in our hearts. Paul describes this battle in 2 Cor. 10:5 as, “Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” This passage speaks so clearly that there must be a weighing in our hearts of what’s wrong from what’s right and a defeating of the old way of thinking that leads us so often to sin, worry, anxiety, and a lack of faith in God to the thought process that lead to faith, joy, self-control, and mercifulness towards others which is a thought system that the Word reconstructs for us. Hebrews 12:1 speaks of “throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.” To weigh these thoughts, we exercise discernment along with wisdom (Hebrews 5:14). I must thank the wise words of counselors and people that have gone into the following list of ‘myths and truths,’ such as Paul at Porn-free.org. So, let’s go through the heart and morally weigh and discern what it thinks is wrong from what it sees as right.
Myth: “This is the last time. After this, I will put pornography down.”
Truth: “Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.” Proverbs 27:20. You believe it is the last time or that you can satisfy the lusts of your heart with one big round of sexual pleasure and then stop, but the reality is that it will never be satisfied. The lusts that war in our members will only crave more, according to the scriptures (James 4:1, 1 Peter 2:11). Instead, Romans 13:14 – “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” (emphasis added). It needs to be cut off, not fed.
Myth: “That was my last time; I’m never going to do it again.”
Truth: There's this tendency to sort of feel like, 'Hey, I'm never going to do it again,' and it's like band-aiding a bullet wound. The problem is so deep that it needs to be dealt with. Otherwise it's not going away. Unless the pornography is cut off and new, cleaner things are being put in its place, you will continue in your sin. You may go a few weeks or maybe even a few months without the habit, but because the flesh is so weak, you may give in. A true repentance from this sin will only come from the power of God, “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13). The hours of concentrating on pornography need to be gotten rid of. Bad input = Bad output. Good input = Good output. If you’ve meditated on pornography constantly for hours, it isn’t so easy to stop. But, the light of Christ shines in our hearts against the darkness. Christ sets us free. He is the embodiment of truth, and the truth sets you free. The Word is what sanctifies (John 17:17) and having it in your mind and heart constantly in your struggles is what will set you free.
Myth: “Pornography doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s a victimless crime.”
Truth: Not only do you sin against your own body (1 Cor. 6:18), and sin against God (Gen 39:9), but your whole family is affected by your struggle against sin – whether your present and immediate family, or your future family and wife’s relationship. They all have to suffer because of your sexually immoral decisions. Pornography is also a gateway to other forms of perversion: pedophilia, bondage, homosexuality, or even rape, because you’ve trained and exercised your mind to esteem pornographic things and meditate on them. It perverts the hearts and can corrupt your morals to see some things like homosexuality or trans-sexuality as acceptable or okay because by conscience you already have forced yourself to see other sexually illicit things as okay.
Myth: “Everybody lusts after women. It’s nature.”
Truth: Yes, and yet everyone knows it’s wrong, it’s a sin, and people are going to hell for it. God sees you lusting after women either walking around or in pornography as if you actually got in bed and slept with them (Matt 5:28). It is just as bad. In fact, Jesus 1 verse later in Matthew 5 says that if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. Jesus made no excuse for “well, it’s just my nature.”
Myth: “I can’t help it, and God understands. I may ‘do bad things,’ but God loves me the way I am.”
Truth: 1 John 2:15-17 is where John explains that if we love the things of this world that pertain to the lust of the eyes, we are actually making ourselves an enemy of God rather than a friend. You call into question your own salvation when you love the things that God hates – ‘how can your heart be born again when the object of its desires are what God hates?’ Instead, you want to be assured by the Word that you are in fact saved – let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from sin, 2 Tim 2:19.
Myth: Masturbation is harmless and healthy.
Truth: Masturbation is a selfish and sinful practice that the bible teaches us to flee from (2 Tim. 2:22), and that sex is a good thing that God’s designed for man to love his wife in (Heb 13:4). It’s all about marriage, Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
Myth: Pornography is fun.
Truth: “Most girls who enter the porn industry do one video and quit. The experience is so painful, horrifying, embarrassing, humiliating for them that they never do it again” (Luke Ford, quoted by CBS News). God has designed your sexual desires to be fulfilled within the context of marriage. This leads to our fulfillment. How much more fun and right is it to be done with your wife who you love? Pornography is secretive and a practice one does ashamedly alone. It goes against God’s design. Not only is it sinful, it’s selfish.
Myth: "I can't live without my porn"
Truth: The enemy wants us to believe that we cannot survive and enjoy life without a diet of sin. The truth is that sinful living produces spiritual and ultimately physical death. True life begins with living according to God’s Spirit, and making no provision for sin’s fulfillment (Romans 13:14, John 6:63). We CAN live without sin! When we obey God with our sex life, we will experience peace and are best able to reap the fruits of a healthy marriage (current or future). Sex is not a right given to every person, but rather, it is a gift from God to every person who marries. For those who have not married, the challenge is to trust God and wait on Him for His provision for life, marriage and sex.
Myth: "Forbidden sex is more enjoyable."
Truth: Forbidden sex enslaves us to lust. For a time, our forays into the forbidden may deliver pleasure, but soon we'll want more risk, more exposure, more thrill, etc., and we'll go deeper into depravity. Our own actions can bring a type of curse upon ourselves, such that we are unable to enjoy the good things God has given us. Romans 1:20-32 describes what can happen when we follow the path of depravity. Those who wait on God for their sexual needs will enjoy lasting pleasure and contentment (Psalm 36:7-9; John 4:14). God's provision meets our needs (Philippians 4:19).
Myth: "All sex is good."
Truth: God gave us some very specific guidance on what kind of sex is acceptable. God restricts sex to marriage between one man and one woman (Mark 10:6-9, Genesis 2:24). Any sexual activity outside of this context is sin, which has consequences that in some cases have lifelong effects.
Myth: "The Bible teaches that sex is dirty."
Truth: Sex is good! The Bible teaches that God created sex as a wonderful gift to be enjoyed between a man and woman in marriage. He intended it to be an intimate expression of love exclusively between a husband and wife. Consider what the Bible says about this kind of sex:
"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer--may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?" Proverbs 5:18-20 NIV
When sex is removed from this context and/or exploited through pornography or other means, it becomes an addictive and destructive practice.
Myth: "Pornography doesn't hurt anyone."
Truth: Porn damages the viewer's family. For example, your children could get hooked on porn when they stumble across your porn stash of computer files or magazines. Your spouse could be devastated if she discovers you've been committing "mental adultery" through porn. She may have difficulty ever trusting you again when they discover your secret life. It could take years for you to re-learn how to love your spouse and eliminate the stranglehold lust has on you. You may have to relearn how to have sex in a loving way, since you have become tuned for lust through porn.
Myth: "Getting married will stop my pornography addiction."
Truth: Marriage can make porn addiction worse, and porn addiction ruins a marriage's sex life! There are several reasons for this, but one of the key reasons is that porn addicts have sexually tuned themselves to respond to lust by porn pictures and masturbation. Married sex, by design, is to be built on love. Lust and love are total opposites!
Myth: "Masturbation is harmless and healthy."
Truth: Despite what popular health professionals may be saying today, masturbation is addictive and gives lust a foothold to control our minds. It also destroys our marriage sex life by sexually tuning us to ourselves. Masturbation teaches us nothing about loving our spouse and giving to him/her during sex. It's all about satisfying our own selfish desires. God’s designed the realm of sexual thought and content to be expressed within a godly marital relationship. Not only is not selfish and leads to a more complete fulfillment but it honors God and is clean – once again, the marriage bed is undefiled (Heb. 13:4).
Myth: "God is unfair and unloving to restrict sex to marriage."
Truth: God is holy, which means perfect in goodness and righteousness. God also loves us very much. He proved his love for us by sacrificing Jesus for our sins. God restricted sex to marriage to protect us from the many sorrows that come with sexual sin. Sex sin brings spiritual confusion, perversion, bondage, addiction, destruction of families and a host of other possible side effects. Sex is so powerful that it can only be safely contained in a loving marriage where there is lifelong commitment, trust and intimacy. Once we extract sex from that context, it becomes unstable and easily converts to a lustful endeavor.
Myth: "Your body is not good enough to be sexually successful."
Truth: The enemy wants us to sabotage our enjoyment of sex by inspiring fear of failure and/or rejection from the opposite sex. This kind of performance orientation is of course promoted by pornography's typical themes like "size matters," and other nonsense. When considering sex, we can trust God that he has given us all we need to enjoy sex with our spouse. We also can ask him to help us overcome any fears we may have about sex, such that we can enjoy the full experience of sex (spiritually, emotionally and physically).
Accountability
My mother told me to bounce my eyes whenever sexual temptations come my way. I did this practice for a while and it is a helpful practice to not have my eyes naturally find the attractive parts of a woman every time someone pretty comes my way. It is wise to use accountability software like NetNanny, X3Watch, CovenantEyes or CyberPatrol. CovenantEyes is a program that emails your close friend the websites that you have been visiting so that you are really held accountable online. But, none of these tools are helpful for taking away the actual desires and temptations that war in our carnal minds or help with taking away the desire to satisfy the lust (see Colossians 2:20-23 for a more thorough explanation of this). It must be done as explained above, by the power of God’s Spirit through the Word, or we will eventually fall. I can serve the internet today without any of these programs and not have one desire to look at pornography. When something sexual pops up, which is on rare occasion, I am immediately disgusted (because of God’s work on my heart) and I immediately click away. There must be real power of God on your heart or the sexual temptations will only continue to come and overtake you. Unsheathe the sword of the Spirit, submitting yourself to God, and the Enemy runs away. Turn on the light and the darkness immediately flees. Use a men’s accountability group to hold you accountable to being free from sexual distractions. This is especially helpful!
Thank you so much for your attention to this study. I hope and pray that God glorifies Himself through your testimony as He did mine. God bless you and keep you.
Cheers,
Isaac D.
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