The Lord's discipline has been very hard. Proverbs says somewhere that the rod of correction imparts wisdom, and the Lord is definately straightening me out. It's easier to cry and for the tears to come when the Lord lays something on my heart.
Went to the Barber's to get a haircut today and I didn't notice at first, but my old Pastor from Old Landmark Cathedral was getting his hair cut there, too. He sat in the seat, and I waited for him to notice I was there, to see if he had anything to say to me. Well, he noticed, but he didn't say anything. After praying and telling the Lord first what I intended in my heart to say, I started talking to him. I told him about the piece of property that my mother was going to rent out to his church and that my mother was trying to get in contact with him. He didn't pay the first month's rent, even though a contract was signed, and never got back or tried to call-back the phone calls to my mother, which caused her great frustration and stress, which she then laid out on Marley and me. It was hard. He immediately said that he doesn't handle any of the business side of the church, but he's left that up to his mother and a few others, but if you need someone to visit someone in the hospital or know someone who needs saving. I told him that both of them were unsaved. He said, The great commission. After his hair cut was done, he got up and left without saying bye. Had nothing else to say to me. I was very distraught about his lack of care. There was no careful attention to the business of the church, no matter how small. No care.
I felt awful. I don't need him to be a good pastor, I need him to be a good Christian. I needed him to represent Christ. I wanted him to say that he'd at least talk to someone and try to help get in contact to see what was going on. At least an apology to my mother who is unsaved and took this out on the church and God... I told him I've been praying for my mother and her husband for a very long time. There wasn't even an fained interest in how Marley and I were doing since we left their church or where we are going to church now or anything... What's happened to the hearts of these leaders today?
I defended this man in arguments with my mother about how the church didn't come through and how she had to pay the mortgage on the house herself. When someone's unfaithful in the body of Christ, I know God always comes through, even if they're unfaithful. And I'm praying that the Lord will repair this crime because God's name's sake is being hurt.
Moreover I feel like a hypocrit because I haven't treated my mother right and have been a lousy witness. I pray that the Lord will redeem my poor witness and make everything work out for good. I so much wanted my mother to respond to the Gospel that I've been frustrated that she remains unsaved, but it's that God hasn't saved her yet. I can expect the lost to behave just like the lost and the saved as saved. So it was never anything I had in my head - I was walking by sight. But it's to the glory of God, that whether someone's in His wrath, or is saved by grace through faith, God remains faithful.

I'm praying the Lord can make me a better witness for Christ, and to represent Him always, even in the little things. The proud are far from Him, but the humble are the soft clay in His hands that He can use to form what withstands the fire.