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I realized something last night... Somehow... I remembered where I discovered it from in the morning, but later forgot. If the Lord doesn't have my heart... Like, He has my mind. He was my spirit. He has my body. I walk in the Spirit, constantly. And I wont complain about being at Wal-Mart and getting abused by the world anymore. But if I don't WANT to do it, He doesn't have my heart. If I don't want to do the will of the Lord, yet still do it, my heart isn't in it. I have to WANT to sow seeds. I have to WANT to be at Wal-Mart.
Shortly after I realized that He didn't have my heart in sowing seeds, I got into an arguement over the phone with my mum, who is secretly angry with me for staying at Wal-Mart because the Lord told me I only have to be there for a little over a year, though I hate it. So she told me that it's my life, I don't have to suffer there and stay there and hate it. I told her that I wanted to be there. To suffer. And what I really wanted to tell her but because she lives for herself and not Christ and couldn't tell her is that it's NOT my life, it's God's life. When the Spirit entered in, Christ paid for me, and bought me back from death. It's HIS!!! And I don't intend to give it back to myself, back to that old man that lived for himself and sinned against God. I'm not my dad! Sheeesh... The sword of the Word's divided this small family in half, and I don't want to argue with her but I'm not going to lay down the Spirit and "do what I want to do," to make her happy. No.
I've never been grounded, sent to my room, put on punishment, or had priviledges taken away, and I doubt I will now that I'm in college and whatnot, and I've never had to rebel against a parent or anything like that, but I'm going to rebel for righteousness' sake and keep following Christ whether she loves it or not. And just pray for her. Because I will not leave the Spirit. Na na na boo boo.
Ha ha...
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