A slow Sunday. I'm going to go and read my Bible for about two hours. My family and I painted the house. I cannot wait until I can get as far away from that man that lives with us as possible. Then I can truly be happy. I suppose I should use this entry as some sort of phsychological outlet. Let's see...
The day that I last saw my biological father was the day that I met this stupid man. I didn't really meet him. My mum went to his house seeking comfort after she broke up with my father. I didn't really get a chance to talk to the guy until my mum was asking me to spend time with him because he was going to live with us for a while a while later. He seemed aggravated by me. I told my mum that he was an okay guy because he made her happy. Then one day he moved in. The second day that he moved into the house was the day that he made me cry (keep in mind, I was 10). He bitched and moaned about something I did with the bathroom sink and me being an English child at the time I wasn't used to someone wailing on me with so much verbal abuse. I was a refined child that didn't care for rebellion or making trouble of any kind and he assumed the worst of me. So...for seven years this man lived with us. Moaning and complaining about everything. Sure I talk back to the man, but I don't really argue with him. He wants me to argue. He provokes it. He's always trying to prove a point to me, yet it is futile because he's rarely right. He gets frustrated over the most finite details to try to get me to argue with him. In the mornings before I go to school he may say something stupid and ruin my entire day. I keep a stone face and I don't let it get to me. Afterall, I know the difference between right and wrong. Most of the things he does and says are wrong anyway. I'm not about to lead my life astray to make one single solitary ignorant low-brow baffoon happy. He's never happy anyway! Never a smile. In a situation where we're supposed to be happy together as a family such as Christmas or the one or two times we went to the beach together in these 7 years, he becomes passive and is unable to express himself. Pathetic. What's this man's problem? Who knows. And, truly, why should I care? I don't know this man. As I've said, he just showed up one day and has been bugging me ever since. All I know about this guy is that he lives in this house. He doesn't even make my mother happy anymore. She can't put up with him anymore. If it weren't for his income being a large part of how we're able to keep this house I don't think she'd be with him anymore. He makes her and her children depressed. Never a kind word. Anyway. Number 1. He's a high school drop-out. He's over 40 years old and he's yet to reform. He's no father. In fact, he isn't even a good person. At all. I think the only person still alive that loves him is my mum. And even that's on the borderline. Number 2. He has some sort of father-related issues. He doesn't know who his father is. Who cares. I don't have a father either and you don't see me passively depressing people about it. Number 3. He's an alcoholic and he's been in jail more times than I can count.
But enough about that moron. Back to my day. Well, it's over at the time that I am typing this but I'll add more tomorrow, I suppose. I have work tomorrow, 6 until close. That means no sitting or peeing for 6 hours, staying alert, and coming home smelling like popcorn. Well, adieu au demain.
posted by: ma997zda (reply)
post date: 10.22.07 (9:04 pm)