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I just read a few articles and one was about a certain man who worked so hard to please his bosses that he got an ulcer at the age of 24. Another was about a woman who was so feminist that she wasn't willing to quit her job when her and her husband became pregnant for fear of divorce caused by over-dependency on her husband. This particular woman was afraid that giving up her financial security and putting it on her husband would make her fully dependent on him and that he could get a divorce at any time. He, with his job, she feared, could just pick up and go to "the next wife of the wife market," leaving her to raise the kids because she gave up her financial independance and invested her security in her children. I am struggling in thoughts and occasional prayers to the Lord with the fact that I'm not ready financially to support a wife, and thus aren't ready for marriage yet. A husband is to lay down his life for his wife like Christ did the Church, Ephesians 6, which includes financially. Also, I have problems socializing that the Lord is dealing with me on. But, the woman said something very interesting at the end of the article. Matthew 6:33, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these shall be added unto you." These refers to natural needs. We can give up our financial securities because God is our security. Our finances aren't dependent on the fact that we work. Yes, if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat, but that verse in proper context refers to a rule geared to keep people from becoming busybodies and living off of everyone else, but showing them that they're to work with their hands to provide for the poor and support themselves so that they're not a burden on anyone else. When I can't work, God is my provider. When it's not possible for me to be at work or have a job for what ever strange reason in this weird little world we live in, God will fulfill His promises. Yes, if a man who doesn't provide for his immediate household is worse than an unbeliever (or infidel, either or, hah). That verse is true. But, the woman concluded the article by saying that God will provide for her. Not her husband, not herself, but God is her provider. The Lord is supporting my wife-to-be right now, while I'm not even yet married to her, and if He decides I'm worthy for the call of being married to her (see 1 Cor 7:7), He'll continue to be her provider. It wont change. And it's the same for me. So many stories that have welled up within the last 3-4 months come to mind. I went on a 13 week leave of absence from Wal-Mart. Yes, Wal-Mart. In it, I quickly ran out of money. For the remaining 6 weeks, I was completely at the mercies of the Lord with 28 dollars in the bank. Just weeks ago I had $3 in the bank for weeks. That was it. Yet, the Lord provided miraculous ways to provide for my needs. When I needed gas, people would just miraculously desire to give me amounts of money that were just necessary to pay for it. A guy at my men's group at church gave me $9 one day, enough to get me to school and back. My mother wanted to give me the money. My aunt would stuff money in my pocket and refuse me being able to give it back. If the finances didn't come in, my gas gauge just didn't go down, hard to believe! But it's true... When I was hungry, the Lord would send someone. I can recount one such friend, Jose, after walking with him briefly, caught up with me, walking way across campus. He told me the Holy Spirit wanted him to buy me lunch! I ate one good buffet that afternoon. On another occasion, one friend wanted to take me to Subways and insisted on paying. One friend would get a successful night at her restaurant job and have more than enough to pay for my meal when she invited me out to lunch. Sometimes I'd get two people inviting me to lunch in one day! I mean, when I'm hungry, God fulfills His promises and provides, even without my ability to help myself. That's the nature of grace. For by grace we're saved, not of ourselves. It's the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9. I know I can completely trust and rely on God. On another occasion, I was on my way to school when my right front tire went flat on the highway. I quickly got on the shoulder. I got out my jack and spare to get to work. But, consider my poverty, I got back in the car and read a chapter of Proverbs instead. I pray, "Lord, I wont do this myself. I need your grace." Something to that effect. The Lord heard it - immediately when I opened my eyes, the Road Ranger was in my rear-view mirror coming off of the on-ramp onto the highway. This was just before the 14-mile long bridge. I asked him if I would have used my jack if it would have held my car. He said no, it would have fallen. I would have hurt myself. He examined my donut and found it flat. If I would have used the jack, I could have hurt myself. Even if I was successful in getting it on, it was a flat donut, and I could have seriously done a lot of damage. I was completely at the mercies of the Lord, and He knew it. I got to school, and finished the paper that was due in time, attending class. When it was done, I go out to the car, and behold, the other tire was flat! Rather than getting emotional, I smiled and thanked the Lord. I got in the car, aiming in mind to go to the nearest gas station and pump up the tire so I could at least ride around on it. I very slowly pull out of the parking lot, I go to the busy 4-lane Bruce B Downs beside the school, I use my hazard lights and creep past traffic with my donut and flat tire. I get to the gas station. I scrape up some change. I don't have enough. I see pennies. I intend to go in and get two solid quarters. I look at the air machine and it said it was broken. At this point, I had no avenue of escape...from God's grace. I simply prayed, and smiled, and pulled out of there, not knowing where I was going to go or what really to do, but trusting in God that His promises would be fulfilled...somehow. Matthew 6:33, God would fulfill. He cared about it more than I did. I see a Sears tire center to the right, as I go very slowly. I pull in. I ask for two tires. They swipe my credit card - maxed out. Little in my bank account, the $28. I remembered, though, I put away $250 in my savings to put on a downpayment on a house in order to start a family someday. I was so reluctant to spend that, but I did it, knowing that God would take care of my family, too. So, I went ahead. The two tires were $140. When I went to transfer from the savings over the phone, it was only showing I had $190 in my savings, somehow. So, I spent the $140 and had little left over. I grabbed my bible and went into the breakroom. There was a lady waiting for her car and she said, 'Can you read that small print? I have to read mine like this...' And she pulled out her bible and demonstrated. Then, she sat down. I was so intrigued that she had her bible to read, too. I prayed about it and decided in prayer that I'd start talking to her, being obedient to the Word to love one another. So, I talked to her. It was an interesting and fun conversation. She told me a little bit of her testimony. The time came, and I had to checkout on my tires. She had to do the same. I was standing at the counter, and then all of a sudden she says, 'You know what, I'm going to pay for your tires.' I was absolutely floored! I said, 'You know, it is $140, that's a lot.' She said to everyone in the room, with all the cashiers and customers, 'This here is God's child. He belongs to the Father.' She put my balance on her credit card and told me to pray for her adult son. Incredible. God used the Church and their obedience to help me. God's promises were fulfilled that day. I don't need to feel the desolation of being 28 miles away from home with 2 flat tires and $28 in the bank. God is my provider. And, as she said, I belong to Him. Purchased with a price. Today, I was sitting at the table trying to study for a class, wanting to be obedient to the Lord in fulfilling my stewardship over my schoolwork. I felt hungry, so I got up and went to the cafeteria. I chose to suffer and go without. Well, I was sitting back down, studying, when out of the blue, some lady walks up and stands behind me. At first, I continue to study and pretend not to notice. Then, she starts talking, "Hey, do you want this?" she said. I looked, and it was a $5 bowl of asian cuisine, with shellfish and meat and pasta (a pretty expensive dish). I said, 'Sure, thanks!' She said the fork was dirty, but she would throw it out otherwise, I thanked her once again, and then she disappeared. I looked around, and she was gone, nowhere to be found. That's all she said, so funny. So funny she would offer it to me of all people - the Lord really cared enough to provide me with food when I was hungry even when I willingly chose to go without, and even when I could have made the sacrifice and bought it (I certainly wouldn't have bought what was given to me!) It was great food! The Lord took care of my need! I rejoice and praise God for His abundance in grace! His mercies and grace are real! I wish people would see that!!! If I could only have some sort of spiritual camera, I'd show the world the simple kindness God shows His children day by day. I love you, Lord. Thank you so much for all you do. And for what you do that I can't presently see. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins! Isaac D.
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